Poo Never Lies

Opening scene finds the Professors of Poo (Jeremy and Laurel) conversing about the recent Mystery of the Missing Carpet.

L: So who do you think murdered the thermometers?
J: Well it certainly was NOT the Princess Nanna!
L: How are we going to find out 'who done it'?
J: Elementary! I will question each suspect while holding the cover, er, rather, what's LEFT of the cover of the electronic victim.

As Professor of Poo 1 (Jeremy) questions each of the usual suspects (Aspen, Rumor and Honey Bear) with mangled cover in hand, each Eskie claims total innocence by sniffing the object and walking away with the most angelic demeanor ever displayed by four-footed fiends.

J: Well it had to be Honey Bear because Aspen always acts guilty.
L: But Honey Bear always acts guilty too and they both look innocent! Now what?
J: (ominously) Time will tell.
L: Huh?
J: Maybe tonight. Maybe tomorrow morning.
L: Huh? (Apparently the Mercury fumes were fogging Professor of Poo 2's thoughts!)
J: You KNOW . . . in the yard!
L: OH! Of course!

Now let me just say that neither PP1 nor PP2 attended any classes or seminars to rise to the glorified level of Professor of Poo. Nor did they intentionally pursue degrees in the field. It happened subconsciously, over time, during many hours of scooping, inspecting and analyzing miscellaneous piles. PPs can instantly tell even at a rake and pan handle's distance whether an object is pine cone, leaf or poo. PPs can find poo in Winter's snow or Autumn's leaves. PPs know which pile came from which pooch. PPs recognize non-food items ingested and expelled no matter how mutilated and degree of decomposition!

Later, back at the ranch -

J: Aspen.
L: Huh?
J: Aspen did it.
L: Did what? (Still under the effect of Mercury fumes? We hope so.)
J: Aspen murdered the thermometers.
L: How do you know? (Okay, now we're worried!)
J: In the yard. Plastic and other evidence.
L: Aha!

Aha indeed! The Poo Never Lies. And thus concludes the Mystery of the Missing Carpet.